Under HIS Wings6's Blog

Psalm 91:4 HE shall cover you with HIS pinions and under HIS wings you shall trust and find refuge…

Adopting the Traumatized

on December 16, 2010

)I am writing today about a topic dear to my heart.  Adoption and traumatized children.  If you have an adopted child-you have a child who has experienced trauma whether in the womb, in infancy, or as a small child.  Most people are unaware the effects of trauma have on a child emotionally, spiritually, and even physically.  The effects of trauma do not just disappear because he now has a family who is loving or providing care for him.  There are many false conceptions about children and adoption such as, “they will get better if they are in a better family.”

Recently I was speaking to a friend concerning a TV show she had seen where an adoptive mother was being belittled because she had a son she just did not know how to get to adapt to his family environment.  Though she was doing her best-maybe misguided-the child just was difficult to say the least, and it seemed hopeless to her.  Being an adoptive mother of four children my heart goes out to this woman.  Many of my hours everyday are spent praying, believing, studying, looking for answers, crying, and reading about how the brain responds to trauma and how children and people react to it.  Friends adoption is one of the greatest things we can do in this life, but knowing who you are and what your own wounds are are an important part of the adoption process.  A traumatized child lives in a state of fear and some times it takes years of hard work and tears to bring them from a place of fear to a place of love.  This blog isnt to discourage anyone from adopting-it is my calling-but I do want all to know that you must make sure you are ready to enter into a process with your adopted child that may be difficult, cause heartache, and possibly even pain that you could have never imagined.  In saying this I would also like to say I do believe Love Never Fails.  However you must combine love with strategy where traumatized children are concerned.  All children are different and many times your adoptions will be just wonderful.  But what for those whose experience is not.  What about those children and families who wonder what in the world just happened to their happy home and loving family.  If you are interested in more information please go to our website.

IF you are considering adoption, do your research, and get to know yourself and your family.  Be prepared!  If you area  parent of a traumatized child, Be strong and courageous!  Know you are not alone.  Don’t give up.  There is always hope.  There are answers. There are resources.  If you know someone who has a difficult child.  Please be with them through the process of bringing that child up.  Hear their struggles without judgment, and help out when you can. It may mean all the difference to that family’s day or even ultimately their lives.

We make daily posts on our Under HIS Wings CC, Inc.  Facebook page and on our website we provided related materials for you to read.  Check out the links provided here on our blog page.

“There is no child beyond help given the right parental system and corrective environment.”
Bryan Post

Take care of yourself and let the love of the Lord come forth in your heart.  Be that parental system!

Tip: “If all we do is focus and become consumed with diminishing, reducing, changing, controlling, suppressing
the behavior what we’re going to be doing is ignoring everything underneath of it.”
Bryan Post

I pray that your journey takes you to the roots and then to healing.

Under His Wings

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