Under HIS Wings6's Blog

Psalm 91:4 HE shall cover you with HIS pinions and under HIS wings you shall trust and find refuge…

The Faithfulness of God

on April 10, 2011

Michael I have been reflecting today the past 8 years with my son Michael and the difficulties we have faced at each developmental level.  Such a beautiful child on the outside and yet on the inside such a  fierce struggle with everything on the outside of himself.  Thinking back to the first day I met him.  I was his Pre-K Teacher.  He came meandering into my classroom, crawled around on the floor a bit, looked at some things around the room, and when he spoke to me he never really engaged with eye contact for more than a nano second.  Four years old and so small.  He caught my attention though.  He was different from the other children.  So smart and yet something missing.  Taking in everything but not being able to verbalize it.  The days and months to follow with him in the classroom were frustrating, challenging, and down right difficult.  How could one little boy need so much?  I prayed over him as he lay down to nap each day with a knowing there was a greater need than I could have ever imagined.  Selfishly my prayers went to, “God get this kid out of my classroom or send him some help.”  Then one day I got a call from the Department of Family and Children Services.   I was a foster parent during this time, but they had no idea when they called, Michael was in my class, and I had no idea that praying for this child who needed so much would ultimately need me in ways I could have never imagined.  I had no idea when I prayed God would call on me to be his answer.  And here we are 8 years later…the battles have been long and hard, heart breaking and exhausting.  There are days when I just don’t understand what God thought He was doing.  Everyday with Michael shows me how needy I am.  You alone are the only wise God.  In the fullness of time, we will see your wisdom justified and we will cry to You over Your Sovereign love.  Remaining faithful to the call.  Michael came to live with our family in 2003, and in December 2005 officially became my son.  He was diagnosed with Autism and some other things.  I really had no understanding of what all it would entail, but had a yes in my heart.  The pain has been so great at times….A mothers hopes for her son often vanquished in tears from daily struggles with self.  The faithfulness of God; His sustaining Grace.  My daily prayers now involve pleading with GOD to make something great of His life in- spite of my inabilities, inadequacies, and fears.  Leaning and trusting as we go into the teenage years and hoping…Hoping for more Hope.  The times of laughter and joy, though few, are treasured.  This beautiful child is there and he belongs to a faithful God.  God teach me how to love more.  Bring the morning where everlasting joy resides.

Michael

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