I am living the dream.
Pondering my day tonight with a distinct revelation that the process of it all is the reality of the dream.
Wondering this evening at the events and activities of my day from morning until sitting to write the dream rests again heavily on my head and deeply in my spirit. My day was not one grandiose even after another, and one might even say a bit boring. This morning upon waking and the sun rising, the birds were there chirping and singing just as they always are, the dog was whining to be released from her cage and to be taken outside, the phone was ringing (who in their right mind calls at that time of day – obviously I didn’t answer) and the boys were doing their morning routine of WWW – Wide World of Wrestling. Had you been in my room, you may have heard me mumble under my breath,”Do they really have to do this every morning. I wish there were more hours in the night, but thank you Lord for another day.” As my body against my will seemingly levitated our from under the covers, the irritation of a three day old belly ache was still there with its relentless groanings. Making my bed, my thoughts went to wondering what it would be like to wake up and hear the birds, and see the sun rising without the heated earthquake in the other room. Stumbling to the boys sleeping area, and quickly pushing the door open, it was all I could do to hold in the laughter as little bodies went flying through the air and landing under their covers as if they really believed that somehow it hadn’t been noticed the crashing of the beds into the walls which sounded like the great rumblings of big kettle drums. I had pictured previously of a village in the tundra having some sort of great tribal ceremony. Do they really think it was possible that they were not heard slamming and shouting with screeches that would make made a good sound effect for a horror flick? Safe to say I wouldn’t believe it if something really terrible were really taking place in the other room. The question sent forth from my lips like a rewind button again this morning was, “What do we do when we wake up in the morning?” “Giggles” “No, really guys, what do we do when we wake up before everyone else?” No response. “Jesse, what do we do when we wake up before everyone else?” “Mommy, we get up, we make our beds, we get dressed, we go to the bathroom and we do something quietly on or beds until everyone else wakes up. And, then we can have breakfast.” Sam still hiding under the covers, giggles again. “Why haven’t you guys done any of those things if you know that is what you are supposed to do?” “We were wrestling! shouts Jesse. “Guys every morning Mommy asks you what the rules are and every morning you don’t follow them. Please get up and do what you are supposed to do, and then you can have some fun doing something safer.” My philosophy and one they just what adapt to has always been , ” when you do what you need to, then you do what you want to.” Its nice in theory.
Walking back to my room assured they heard me and were now obeying – I hoped – I jumped in the shower to try and wake up good, before the ninja attacks began. Afterwards, I studied some morning devotionals, and other reading, some posts to Facebook and seeing what everyone else seemed to be up to this morning, and then went to work on a new page for my website. This is the second new page this week. The first is concerning simple but important ways we can remember to love the elderly among us, and the one today on Respite Care. I wont go into those things here as you can read them on our website at www.underhiswings6.com. The time past so quickly as again, writing the vision down and making it plain so those who read it can run with it. The ideas come like floods after a great down pour and it seems as if no real thing is ever accomplished. Again, nothing spectacular here. Yet, that is why I am writing now.
Around 2:15 I told the kids bye and went over to my neighbors house. He is an eighty-three year old widower. His wife passed several years ago and sense, as much as he would allow the kids and I have been helping him with running errands, grocery shopping, and cutting the grass. Recently Adult Protective Services got involved due to the persistence of my self and his late wife’s sister. He really needs daily or at least weekly care. So, it seems I am now sort of a surrogate foster parent for my neighbor. It was kind of an ultimatum. Cooperate and stay in your home, or become a ward of the state. The old question , “Am I my brother’s keeper?” seems to fit the circumstance. And, in my heart, I believe the answer is still emphatically, “yes”. How that must wound a man to hear….Today we traveled to the doctor. He hasn’t been in a very long time and has not been thinking straight or moving around well. The doctor prescribed new meds and we scheduled an ultrasound to check his heart and circulation for Monday and a follow up visit in two weeks. We picked up his medication. I asked him how he was feeling about folks coming in and helping him more regularly. He seems real nervous and shaky talking about it. Its hard to trust when you are old and alone. I assured him, he was not alone. He thanked me repeatedly as I dropped him home again. I wonder if his wife can see an is smiling down from heaven.
I am living the dream.
My adult children have been gone most of the week. One went out of town with a friend, and the other working. I pray often to see them more and spend time with them. Seems funny to feel that way since we live in the same house. Reminders of things they need to take care of, or spend time doing are met with the usual,” we know, Mom.” I miss the times when snuggles were the most important thing to them. Still, they have become beautiful, young women, with hopes and dreams of their own to seek out.
I am living the dream.
God has given me the best training tools possible for me to help others in similar circumstances. Isnt He good at that? Taking what is hard for us and turning it around to make life easier for those around us in need. Two of the children have rather difficult and exhausting emotional needs, and yet, had we not lived through it, helping other families with special needs, might not be so appealing. I am good at what I do, only because God is good at what He does. They are beautiful amidst their deep rooted pain. His grace is surely sufficient and empowering. Even on the days when I wrestle with my self all the way to sleep.
The two youngest just came in to have me judge a “who has the best hair contest”. Jesse does a little dance and and flips his fingers out at me like guns and says, “I’m Elvis!” in his best Elvis voice. And then he smiles as if to say, “that makes my hair better than Sam’s”. Sam just giggles and hugs me and his smile, dimples, and all, say, “yeh, right”. Those little guys, who will likely wake me again in the morning with the same scenario as today and every day the past year or so, sure know how to make my heart happy.
Bill Johnson says in his book “Dreaming with God”, There are rooms in your world that need your special touch – Your child’s classroom, your coworker’s office, your neighbor’s heart….God has given you a blank check to create your world – just sign your name!
While the children and I wait in a home that is too small for us and in much need of repair, while our days seem long and hard at times, and we live by faith for every need to be met, while we hope to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living in the full scope of the vision given, we know that we are loved, and that our rooms are connected to people we might have never imagined to have known and we get the pleasure of being used by the Father to touch their lives for His glory. Through it all we are walking out the vision that has been drawn before me. The desires of my heart given to be seen.
My dream is to see the fatherless, the widow, and the orphan cared for by their communities and resting securely under His wings. For them to know the love of the Father in an excellent way. A way in which they never have cause to doubt they are loved. It occurs to me that on this day, the precious Savior can look down and say, “as you have done it unto even the least of these….”
Well, I’m off to remind three little people their bedtime began 20 minutes ago.
Day by day….I AM LIVING THE DREAM!